So, I've been soul-searching to discover my "purpose" ever since I can remember. I mean at like six years old I was imagining what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was a product of television for sure. Brady Bunch, My Three Sons, Bewitched, The Donna Reed Show, Happy Days, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Welcome Back Kotter, Maude, Dallas, Falcon Crest....I had this "illusion" that even the worst of problems could be solved swiftly and all relationships were mend able within thirty minutes.
Living within this false reality made true reality even harder to comprehend. I mean all the information filtering in from T.V. land was quite frankly false data. So, when real life played out differently it felt "abnormal".
But "normal" is a term that has changed so tremendously it is almost unrecognizable. I mean split up families, a plethora of addictions, physical abuse, unemployment, psych drugs, methadone clinics, a defunct legal system, a sad medical program, nation-wide hunger, poverty are all the "norm". It's hard to be shocked by anything anymore.
Parents complain about music, video games, porn, and the Internet. Our society is so pumped up to "run" with technology. We put out all this information and data in obscene quantities and we know not what we really are doing. Do we all really have the "right" to all information? I mean we all should have the right to research and discover truths but just because some hillbilly puts a meth recipe on line, or racial hate opinions into young minds do we all have the right to it?
What kind of society has to have an actual "law" written down saying not to murder? Isn't that a no-brainer? Isn't it "normal" to want EVERYONE to be happy and fulfilled? Is it so abnormal that I want my peace and internal satisfaction to be no easier nor harder to achiever than my neighbor?
Has the "abnormal" torture we rarely could even imagine in our most horrible nightmares become the everyday? Am I just becoming saddened to the point of paralysis? Normal is perception just like everything in this life. I used to know the world was good, people were kind, everyone loved to make others smile and I could have and do anything I want in this world. I didn't "think" these things were true; I KNEW they were.
So, what's changed? When did I lose focus of the mushroom and just see the manure? When did I start to assume "the other shoe" always drops? When did it become so easy to say "life sucks"?
I believe in the power of positive energy and the healing power we all have. But, I've lost sight of my own. I lost sight of it a long time ago, but today is when I realized it. Hmmmm...now what? Where do I go from here?
Monday, June 23, 2008
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You know, I am discovering my purpose piece by piece every day. It is not a clear picture, it is a bit fuzzy like the bottom of a dirty, broken old Coke bottle. I never really knew or had a clue as to what it was.
I think at one point, probably as a kid, there were so many things that I wanted to be...the things that every kid wants to be...the cop, the fireman, the astronaut, the movie star.
But those things take the back seat to real life and the way that it puts reality into perspective...the cop becomes the burger flipper, the fireman steps aside for the sales agent, the astronaut falls to earth as a ditch digger, the movie star is cast as the cable guy. There is nothing wrong with the lesser aspirations. But it can lead to one questioning their ability to acheive anything they dream for.
Nothing is normal any more. It is sad, but oh, so true. But even in a world of abnormalities, there are those that still shine kindness down on others in a blinding beam of loving light. We just need to open our eyes and see what is in that light.
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